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A Reflection on Family and Fatherhood

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Today, my son and I are on our fourth day of vacation. I took him back to visit my family in Kansas City, MO. My wife and step-daughter could not come for a number of reasons. While I did not make a big deal about it at the time,  I should have insisted that she/ they come. It would have given us a much needed opportunity to grow closer and bond as a family.  They would have also been able to meet the people, visit many of the places  and experience some of the things that served as the foundation for who I would eventually become, both good and bad. Read more

Falling Down, Getting Up and Staying the Course, No Matter What!


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Today, I went for a 2-mile hike in Ed Davis Park in Towsley Canyon located in Santa Clarita, CA.  Along the way, I begin to think about all that had transpired in my life the past few weeks.  It has been one of those weeks which has challenged and frustrated me like no other week has. Let me first state that last week I fell. I mean I fell hard. Instead of getting up like I normally do, like I teach and train others to do, I laid there.  Instead of getting up, brushing myself off, I reacted very emotionally and aggressively to what I thought/ believed had caused the fall. Instead of taking stock of where I had fallen, and why I had fallen and how I could prevent it from happening a second time, I became resentful. I became angry. I took on a victim’s mentality asking why me. I did all the negative things that I know, again that I know, I should not have done.  For this, I am deeply upset with myself because I know that I am capable of and have done so much better. Let me explain what I mean. Read more

The Martian: Life Lessons of Resourcefulness, Determination, and Never Giving Up!

The Martian Movie


My wife, my son and I went to see the movie The Martian, with Matt Damon this week. It was a rare treat for my son because we normally don’t do movie night during a school week. But seeing as though he is doing great in school, I figured that he had earned it.

The Martian is a great example of what  to do when you are presented, by no fault of your own, with a problem so enormous, so vast, so massive, succeeding or failing is a matter of life and death. True not everyone is confronted with such decisions on a day to day basis. Many of us, however, are confronted with equally challenging problems, obstacles, roadblocks, set-backs, and pitfalls that test the limits of who we are and what we are capable of.  Some of us unfortunately give up, while others find a way to survive, to overcome, to thrive.  Would you have the capacity, the confidence and the presence of mind to respond similarly as Mark Watney (Matt Damon)? Would you conquer the situation or would the situation conquer you?

If you have not seen this movie, I recommend it. While it is rated PG-13 and while there is a little too much profanity, I recommend it particularly for tweens, teenagers and young adults. I also recommend taking the time afterwards to have a conversation with your child about the inherent and powerful messages in the movie. Because after all, you never know when your child will have to make a similar decision about whether to give up or whether to find a way to overcome the seemingly insurmountable challenge(s) before him/her.

Relationship Communication


We all know this to be true but how many of us really communicate with our spouses?  How many of us are talking at our spouse instead of to our spouse?  How many of us are listening when our spouses are talking?  Think about these questions, if you responded with a no to these questions then let’s make the necessary changes to make the answers yes next time you’re asked…

Pacific Lodge Youth Services Speech

Rita and I spoke at the Pacific Lodge Youth Services in Woodland Hills, CA, on Saturday, October 17th. If you don’t know what they do, here is a link to their site. We are getting into the positive habit of speaking at events like this. As a matter of fact, we are speaking to a group of college bound students at Verdugo Hills High School this Wednesday, October 28th. We are also scheduled to speak to a group of middle school kids at the Newhall Boys & Girls Club next month.

I noticed that I say “right” alot. Right? lol… Also,  while Rita is a social butterfly and everyone loves her, she is not as comfortable with public speaking yet. I thought she did very well, and will of course do better with practice and more opportunities to speak.  Let us know what you think!

Relationship Thought of the Day!


As you’re reading the above quote do the words start sounding familiar?  Have you or do you feel the same?  Have you considered walking away???  I’m sure many of us can respond with a yes to many of these questions…

Now the real questions are…  Is there lack of communication in your relationship?  Is there lack of commitment?  Is there lack of intimacy?

We’d love to hear what your responses are….